You really coming over, don't trick.
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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