The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Randomize
