well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
