Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
