he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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