I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
