the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
