I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize