i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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