I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
