She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
