A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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