im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
So much rum. So many feels.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize