i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
