Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
