I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize
