Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
