she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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