Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
