dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
