Rock
Scissors
Fuck
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
