How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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