why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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