guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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