Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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