you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
