you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
