After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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