Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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