yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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