i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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