i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
