everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
