He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
