Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
