Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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