i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
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