3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
