how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
