i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
The air was thick with penises
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize