My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
