I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
