It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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