He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Semen is not good for contacts.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
