It's Friday. Sex?
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Randomize
