And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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