My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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