u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Small penises have feelings too.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
