I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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