I wanna bring you to show and tell
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
