The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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