1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
