Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
