Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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