You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize