then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Where is the hickey?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Who died my cat blue again?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
