I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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