Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
