Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
