I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
