Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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