My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Randomize
